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| 3. Love – loving God, loving others
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
- Haddaway
I think there is a dangerous half-truth out there that says that love is a choice and not a feeling. I understand where these people are coming from...there is indeed a danger in defining love as a feeling because our feelings seem to be in a constant state of change, but I think that love is more than a choice to do a certain action regardless of how you "feel"; at its root, I believe love is a deep affection in which one forgets oneself and desires the welfare of another above his own.
When I am commanded to love God, I do not think it means just to make choices that are honoring to God. I think the choices that I make are an outward expression of my heart's love for God. My love for God is an acknowledgment of His worth and a desire to glorify Him and not me. And it expresses itself in my obedience and trust and delight. So love is a feeling in the sense that it is an affection of the heart, but it is not the cheap romantic "love" that waxes and wanes with every passing hour and heart palpatation. It is a deep, abiding desire for a deeper knowledge and experience of God. It is a desire to know God with a spirit of reckless abandon because He is most worthy to be known. It is a heart that says: "I must decrease, He must increase."
But what about those times when I don't "feel" love for God any longer and I want to place my own desires above his? Don't I then make the choice to love God, evidenced by my actions? I think even in these times, we know deep down that He is worthy (as a result of His indwelling Spirit), so we submit our wills to his and this action confirms that we do actually love God and not just that we made the choice to love God.
How does this relate to the context of dating and marriage? Is love then a feeling or a choice? Again, I will immediately rule out those romantic feelings of the honeymoon stage in a relationship that are often confused for love. So the honeymoon phase is over...doesn't that mean you just have to make the choice to love? I do not think so. Even if those romantic feelings wear away, there can still exist in the heart a desire for the other person's good before your own. That is love. And it expresses itself when you actually do put the other person ahead of yourself. What if you don't have the desire to put the other person ahead of yourself, but your actions speak otherwise? I believe it is because of some other desire in your heart. Fear of letting go of the relationship. Love for God. Selfish desires for "sacrifice." If you are dating, at this point when you do not desire to put the other person ahead of yourself, should you call it quits? I think so because the sanctification of your partner ought to be your main goal in the relationship. But how can that occur on any level if you care more about yourself than her, no matter how disciplined or strong-willed you may be? I do not think anybody is able to be completely selfless, but there should at least be a desire and a growing selflessness in both heart and deed.
What I prefer in this definition is its complete reliance upon the grace of God. It acknowledges that my I cannot generate love for God or love for others by any power of my own; it is the gift of God. And it makes me more dependent on Him to obey His commands to love Him and love others, which I think is the way that it should be.
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| "Zeal in religion is a burning desire to please God, to do His will, and to advance His glory in the world in every possible way. It is a desire which no man feels by nature--which the Spirit puts in the heart of every believer when he is converted--but which some believers feel so much more strongly than others that they alone deserve to be called 'zealous' men...
A zealous man is religion is pre-eminently a man of one thing. It is not enough to say that he is earnest, hearty, uncompromising, thorough-going, whole-hearted, fervent in spirit. He only sees one thing, he cares for one thing, he lives for one thing, he is swallowed up in one thing; and that one thing is to please God. Whether he lives, or whether he dies--whether he has health, or whether he has sickness—whether he is rich, or whether he is poor-whether he pleases man, or whether he gives offence—whether he is thought wise, or whether he is thought foolish—whether he gets blame, or whether he gets praise—whether he gets honour, or whether he gets shame—for all this the zealous man cares nothing at all.He burns for one thing; and that one thing is to please God, and to advance God’s glory.”
My soul is inspired and challenged by these words. Oh, how I long to be truly zealous for God's glory, yet at every point this desire is confronted with selfish impulses within me that consume me and beckon me to do otherwise. These words point me to a greater purpose than my own existence, but at the same time they point me to my own inadequacy and inability to live wholly for that one thing. Apart from God, I can do no good thing, but praise Him that He has drawn me near!
Holy Father, make me zealous for Your Glory. May Your Spirit fill me and empower me to live for that one thing. May my heart burn for You. | | |
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